Nothing Better Than a Truck Stop!

My son Dan reminded me of a funny story a few weeks ago, since it’s another night of me waking up for my 2:00 am feeding.  I thought I would write instead of raid the refrigerator.  

No matter how old I get, I am always going to love men.  When you have worked in an office or salon with all women you know what I mean.   Men just make me feel better about myself.  Most men, if you ask what size their wives wear they would say small.  They just don’t see the imperfections that we see in ourselves. 

There are certain places you can go and get a jolt of testosterone whether you need it or not.  For instance, any auto parts store, Fleet Farm the Thursday before deer hunting season and then my personal favorite truck stops.

About five years ago Rich and I had been married for only a few months and we were heading south to visit his family.  We left in a hurry, so I was still dressed for work.  I happened to have a great new pair of boots on and a flowing skirt.  I also remember wearing a striking pearl necklace too.  It was one of those days; I was actually thinking, I looked pretty hot for an old chick (that was before I turned 50, I might add).

We stopped at Rich’s favorite truck stop about 3 hours into our trip.  He was fueling up the car and I ran into the ladies room and then decided I would pick up a few treats for the road.  I was standing in line to pay for my items and I noticed a man looking at me with a smile, I thought to myself, "I am going to wear these boots more often".  Then another man came up from behind me and touched me on my arm, he leaned in close to whisper something.  My mind was racing, “oh here I go again, I will have to disappoint this man and tell him I am married, wow I am hot!”.   “Miss” the tall dark stranger, whispered in a deep voice, “ your skirt is tucked into your underwear”!

My Mexican Massage

A few weeks ago, I spent a wonderful vacation in sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  I traveled with my two daughters and two very good friends.  Yes, there we were five women looking for relaxing and adventure and one afternoon we got both.

It was just my two girls and myself spending the day together.  We had gone whale watching which included beer and guacamole for breakfast.  Later, we had lunch at a local restaurant near the waterfront.  While searching for the closest bathroom, we ran across a salon that advertised 1 hour massages for $20.00.  Seriously??   I told the girls, we should check it out and it would be my treat.  Well there is strength in numbers and if nothing else it would be something interesting to tell my friends right?

A tiny young lady told us that it was a professional deep tissue massage.  Just then 2 men came walking out of the room looking red faced and with messed up hair.  Then I got a little nervous thinking professional at what??  Melissa and I where brought into one room together.  It consisted of two tables a mesh covering over each table, including a tiny white towel.  Loud techno disco music playing in the background, no sheets, no blankets and we had already decided by Allie's suggestion that undies where staying on didn’t want to chance bringing something alive back from Mexico.  During our first night in the hot tub while enjoying the bubbles, Allie had stated, “I just might as well start the Monostate 7 right away”!    She can be such a buzz kill.

I tried to talk to the massage therapist about my sore hip and what was lost in translation was changed to “giver hell”!  Next came sharp little elbows finding tight areas in my back that had been safely hidden by my ribs.   I tried to relax and breathe as my muscles were being torn away from my body.  At one point as I was face down, I realized the massage therapist had climbed on top of me.  What that’s never happened before?  This is getting weird and I started to giggle.  I opened my eyes to see what was going on with Melissa and was shocked to see the little female massage therapist she started with had now turned into a large Hispanic man with jeans and a t-shirt on.  And me right next to them with a little towel covering my not so little body.   Just then my massage therapist whispered something in my ear was it “I want you” or “turn over”?  I held on to the towel and flipped as fast as I could.

Well you will be glad to know that the only “happy ending” that took place that day was when the massage was finally over and we headed back to the resort.

"Those Jeans"

We all have a pair of “those” jeans.  My last pair I bought just this past fall.

 Now buying jeans can be a very dangerous task for me, and anyone that happens to be, within a one mile radius.  Just ask my sister Cathy, she cringes when I mention I need a new pair of jeans.  So, we just had one little incident of me, throwing several pairs of jeans out of the dressing room barely missing her head.  She really needs to get over that.

Now back to my story- I was shopping alone and a nice young sales girl was helping me.  She brought me a pair of jeans to try on, that really was a size or two smaller than I would normally wear, but I thought what the heck I will give them a try.  I squeezed into those suckers, while holding my breath, I said, “well, what do you think”?  Then she said the words, that had me sold, “wish my mom would wear, cool jeans like that”!  Oh, how I want to be that cool mom again.  You know the one that still listens to KDWB, can dance the night away without limping the next day, and can/ will text and doesn’t feel the need to capitalize at the beginning of a new sentence.

I just had to have those jeans.  So I wore them a few times and then the holidays hit and why oh why be uncomfortable, when over indulging on anything that contains, powdered sugar?  That's the time of the year for the loose fitting, fluffy attire.

Feb 1^st hits, I have been going to the gym for 2 months now.  And, had a colonoscopy, and that has to be  good for a few pounds?  So out came the jeans for a lunch date this week.  Wow, don’t remember that zipper pulling like that.  Or the fact I couldn’t use my diaphragm, to breathe any longer.  After that lunch date, I whipped those puppies off and threw them in a ball in the corner of my room.   Since that time they have been tucked safely in my dresser and I will try them again in a few weeks after my vacation.  That's the beauty of middle age, I didn't rush out to buy the liquid protein diet or look online to see where I might purchase a tape worm.  Nope, I now know better my weight ebbs and flows and some day again those jeans just might fit.  

Or here is another option :)

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Heading For South of the Border!

Tuesday we leave for Cabo San Lucas.  There will be 5 of us traveling from 4 different states, my 2 daughter’s and two very good friends.  What I have come to realize is when your kids grow up have no worries they will go just about anywhere with you if you offer to pay.  Excluding Old Country Buffet or the Waffle House they do have standards higher than myself.

We have 3 generations among us Betty who is in her 60’s, Sidney and I are early 50’s and my girls are early 30’s.  The discussions and confessions should prove interesting to say the least.  There has been some concern for safety traveling to Mexico but unless we become mules for some drug cartel I think we should be fine.

The first time I went to Mexico I was in my early 30’s had so much fun at the clubs one in particular had bubbles on the dance floor that came all the way up to my waist.  I remember slipping around with my orange high heels on.  This year I am packing comfortable shoes, sun block, tinted cheaters and something to prevent diarrhea, Yee hah let the good times roll

I know there are some great deals on Botox in Mexico it might be a great way to look extra rested from our vacation this year.  It sounded like a good idea last night when I was talking about it however today I was thinking is it safe to get injections from the same country you shouldn’t drink the water? 

The picture below was taken about 8 years ago when three of us went to Puerto Rico to visit my daughter Allie who was an exchange student at the time.  This was one of the tourist attractions we liked the best!   There is nothing like a vacation