My Hunger Games!

I recently joined Weight Watchers with a couple friends.  We refer to it as WW it makes me think of World War I & II.  I guess in a way we have declared war on our middle-aged bodies that continue to change.  So our daily conversations now consist of counting points, exchanging recipes and finding ways to keep our vegetables from spoiling. 

Dieting is nothing new to me; I have been doing it since I can remember.  In fact my mother had her own stash of Pepsi Light in the refrigerator, you take one and you lose a hand so I guess it runs in my family.   I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s.  It was the wonder bread years.  A meal filled with vegetables would consist of Tator Tot hot dish layered with a can of mixed veggies, cream of mushroom soup,  hamburger topped of with Tator Tots.  Eggplant to me was just another shade of purple.  Chinese was Chow Mein in a can with those tasty little brown crunchy noodles.  That’s how we all ate and not a McDonalds in sight.

I have tried it all remember the liquid protein diet?  Not sure why we thought 2 tablespoons of a horrific tasting substance in place of a meal could keep us satisfied for an entire day?  I still see Oprah dragging a wagon with 50 pounds of lard on stage sporting her new body.  Well we all know how well that worked for her.  When the low carb diet came out by day 3, I was considering eating the cushion from my office chair.  Another diet had me so hungry, I remember feeding the dog his Kibbles and Bits and thinking it looked really tasty.

So here I go again.  I do know this about myself I need control of what goes into my mouth each and every day.  Last year I realized I had hit a breaking point when Rich and I ended up at Old Country Buffet.  This year I caught myself eating chips while cooking dinner.  I know I am not alone in this struggle so it helps to have the support of my friends and even people I don’t know. 

As my friend Karen said while waiting for the meeting to start and staring at a picture on the wall of beautiful skinny Jennifer Hudson “when we are all done with this do you think we will be able to sing too”?  Goals we got goals-

The Year I Missed Spring!

It was March 1997 and I was living the dream.   I had just been promoted to a sales position, in downtown Minneapolis for a local staffing company.  I drove a Ford Escort, owned Payless pumps in every color you could imagine and was given a high tech device called a pager. 

My home life was a crazy one, I was single mom with 3 teenagers: 2 that wouldn’t eat red meat and one that wouldn’t eat chicken (just try to come up with a quick meal, I dare you), we had a dog named Otis, he continuously chewed the couch cushions if left home alone for a long period of time.   My son Dan was coming to the end of a very long hockey season that required, being picked up from the arena usually by me in my pajamas at 10:00 PM.  It seemed, I would close my eyes and then the day would start all over again.  Boy I was tired and stressed.

I had noticed some bruising on my arms and legs for a few weeks.  Then one day at work I got my period, something seemed different, I was as white as a sheet and felt as though I had lost my entire blood supply.   I decided to head to the clinic on my way home from work.  Because, it was the end of the day, they couldn’t tell me exactly what the problem was, but I do remember they mentioned Leukemia.  My pager had been going off non- stop while I was at the clinic.  The kids wanted the car and/or dinner.   I was just too darn busy to be sick!

The next day I got a call from the clinic and that’s the day my life changed forever.  “Mrs. Lynum you have Leukemia”!  “Pack a small overnight bag and they are waiting to see you at Regions Hospital”.  This was before Mr. Gore had invented the Internet if you looked up Leukemia in a dictionary it said cancer/fatal.  After a bone marrow test, I was diagnosed with AML, a fast moving blood cancer, if left untreated gave me about 6 weeks to live.  They started chemotherapy the next day.  The first series of chemo did not put me into remission however, the 2^nd round did.  My family and friends were amazing.  I couldn’t have done it without them.  I do know the power of prayer was on my side.

 I was admitted into the hospital mid March, when there was still lots of snow on the ground and left the hospital the end of May the day before my daughter, Melissa’s high school graduation.  I remember thinking how odd it was, I had missed the entire spring season, really my favorite time of year!  It took another 6 months before the treatments were concluded.

15 years later here I am.  I have had the honor to watch all three of my kids graduate from high school then go on to college.  I met and married a wonderful man that has shown me how great married life can be.  Together, we now have 6 kids and 7 grandkids.  I travel whenever possible.  My health is amazingly good other than a few aches and pains.  I recently re-connected with my Oncologist just to thank him and re-enforce what an important job he has.  So, when you can, please give generously to the American Cancer Society.  Let’s see if we can end cancer in our lifetime!

Nothing Better Than a Truck Stop!

My son Dan reminded me of a funny story a few weeks ago, since it’s another night of me waking up for my 2:00 am feeding.  I thought I would write instead of raid the refrigerator.  

No matter how old I get, I am always going to love men.  When you have worked in an office or salon with all women you know what I mean.   Men just make me feel better about myself.  Most men, if you ask what size their wives wear they would say small.  They just don’t see the imperfections that we see in ourselves. 

There are certain places you can go and get a jolt of testosterone whether you need it or not.  For instance, any auto parts store, Fleet Farm the Thursday before deer hunting season and then my personal favorite truck stops.

About five years ago Rich and I had been married for only a few months and we were heading south to visit his family.  We left in a hurry, so I was still dressed for work.  I happened to have a great new pair of boots on and a flowing skirt.  I also remember wearing a striking pearl necklace too.  It was one of those days; I was actually thinking, I looked pretty hot for an old chick (that was before I turned 50, I might add).

We stopped at Rich’s favorite truck stop about 3 hours into our trip.  He was fueling up the car and I ran into the ladies room and then decided I would pick up a few treats for the road.  I was standing in line to pay for my items and I noticed a man looking at me with a smile, I thought to myself, "I am going to wear these boots more often".  Then another man came up from behind me and touched me on my arm, he leaned in close to whisper something.  My mind was racing, “oh here I go again, I will have to disappoint this man and tell him I am married, wow I am hot!”.   “Miss” the tall dark stranger, whispered in a deep voice, “ your skirt is tucked into your underwear”!

My Mexican Massage

A few weeks ago, I spent a wonderful vacation in sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  I traveled with my two daughters and two very good friends.  Yes, there we were five women looking for relaxing and adventure and one afternoon we got both.

It was just my two girls and myself spending the day together.  We had gone whale watching which included beer and guacamole for breakfast.  Later, we had lunch at a local restaurant near the waterfront.  While searching for the closest bathroom, we ran across a salon that advertised 1 hour massages for $20.00.  Seriously??   I told the girls, we should check it out and it would be my treat.  Well there is strength in numbers and if nothing else it would be something interesting to tell my friends right?

A tiny young lady told us that it was a professional deep tissue massage.  Just then 2 men came walking out of the room looking red faced and with messed up hair.  Then I got a little nervous thinking professional at what??  Melissa and I where brought into one room together.  It consisted of two tables a mesh covering over each table, including a tiny white towel.  Loud techno disco music playing in the background, no sheets, no blankets and we had already decided by Allie's suggestion that undies where staying on didn’t want to chance bringing something alive back from Mexico.  During our first night in the hot tub while enjoying the bubbles, Allie had stated, “I just might as well start the Monostate 7 right away”!    She can be such a buzz kill.

I tried to talk to the massage therapist about my sore hip and what was lost in translation was changed to “giver hell”!  Next came sharp little elbows finding tight areas in my back that had been safely hidden by my ribs.   I tried to relax and breathe as my muscles were being torn away from my body.  At one point as I was face down, I realized the massage therapist had climbed on top of me.  What that’s never happened before?  This is getting weird and I started to giggle.  I opened my eyes to see what was going on with Melissa and was shocked to see the little female massage therapist she started with had now turned into a large Hispanic man with jeans and a t-shirt on.  And me right next to them with a little towel covering my not so little body.   Just then my massage therapist whispered something in my ear was it “I want you” or “turn over”?  I held on to the towel and flipped as fast as I could.

Well you will be glad to know that the only “happy ending” that took place that day was when the massage was finally over and we headed back to the resort.

"Those Jeans"

We all have a pair of “those” jeans.  My last pair I bought just this past fall.

 Now buying jeans can be a very dangerous task for me, and anyone that happens to be, within a one mile radius.  Just ask my sister Cathy, she cringes when I mention I need a new pair of jeans.  So, we just had one little incident of me, throwing several pairs of jeans out of the dressing room barely missing her head.  She really needs to get over that.

Now back to my story- I was shopping alone and a nice young sales girl was helping me.  She brought me a pair of jeans to try on, that really was a size or two smaller than I would normally wear, but I thought what the heck I will give them a try.  I squeezed into those suckers, while holding my breath, I said, “well, what do you think”?  Then she said the words, that had me sold, “wish my mom would wear, cool jeans like that”!  Oh, how I want to be that cool mom again.  You know the one that still listens to KDWB, can dance the night away without limping the next day, and can/ will text and doesn’t feel the need to capitalize at the beginning of a new sentence.

I just had to have those jeans.  So I wore them a few times and then the holidays hit and why oh why be uncomfortable, when over indulging on anything that contains, powdered sugar?  That's the time of the year for the loose fitting, fluffy attire.

Feb 1^st hits, I have been going to the gym for 2 months now.  And, had a colonoscopy, and that has to be  good for a few pounds?  So out came the jeans for a lunch date this week.  Wow, don’t remember that zipper pulling like that.  Or the fact I couldn’t use my diaphragm, to breathe any longer.  After that lunch date, I whipped those puppies off and threw them in a ball in the corner of my room.   Since that time they have been tucked safely in my dresser and I will try them again in a few weeks after my vacation.  That's the beauty of middle age, I didn't rush out to buy the liquid protein diet or look online to see where I might purchase a tape worm.  Nope, I now know better my weight ebbs and flows and some day again those jeans just might fit.  

Or here is another option :)

P.S. I you click on the tap to your right you can get my blogs emailed right to you.

Heading For South of the Border!

Tuesday we leave for Cabo San Lucas.  There will be 5 of us traveling from 4 different states, my 2 daughter’s and two very good friends.  What I have come to realize is when your kids grow up have no worries they will go just about anywhere with you if you offer to pay.  Excluding Old Country Buffet or the Waffle House they do have standards higher than myself.

We have 3 generations among us Betty who is in her 60’s, Sidney and I are early 50’s and my girls are early 30’s.  The discussions and confessions should prove interesting to say the least.  There has been some concern for safety traveling to Mexico but unless we become mules for some drug cartel I think we should be fine.

The first time I went to Mexico I was in my early 30’s had so much fun at the clubs one in particular had bubbles on the dance floor that came all the way up to my waist.  I remember slipping around with my orange high heels on.  This year I am packing comfortable shoes, sun block, tinted cheaters and something to prevent diarrhea, Yee hah let the good times roll

I know there are some great deals on Botox in Mexico it might be a great way to look extra rested from our vacation this year.  It sounded like a good idea last night when I was talking about it however today I was thinking is it safe to get injections from the same country you shouldn’t drink the water? 

The picture below was taken about 8 years ago when three of us went to Puerto Rico to visit my daughter Allie who was an exchange student at the time.  This was one of the tourist attractions we liked the best!   There is nothing like a vacation 

Men Really Are From Mars

Hi Everyone or Anyone?


I keep getting told I should start a blog so here I go!  The design I picked is called "simple" similar to every appliance I own.  I like to make sure there isn't any thing too "fancy" that might malfunction so let's see how this goes.

Last week after talking with my dad who is in sunny Mesa, AZ for the winter.  I thought Rich and I would plan a short trip down to visit and get some sunshine the end of March.  I was looking online for airfare and was pretty excited about the whole thing.  Well I was just leaving for work just as Rich was coming home from a breakfast date with his best friend who happens to be our Pastor Eric.
  We met in the driveway, I rolled down my window window and he rolled his down.  I said "hi handsome, how was breakfast and I think we should book a trip to Arizona"!  He made a strange face and just kept driving into the garage!
  How rude-  All day I thought what could be wrong?  Does he not like my dad? Is he worried about money?  Come to think of it he has been acting very quiet for weeks?  Is he sick???
I was really getting nervous!  Told a few of my co-workers that happen to be all girls what was going on and then I told a friend too. They really got me thinking!  One said you need to have a heart to heart talk with him.
So over the weekend I said "honey, when I asked you about a trip to see my dad you just drove off in the middle of the conversation, why would you do that to me"?
Rich " I had to take a shit since I left the restaurant"!

Wow men really are simple creatures, it's us girls that make them complicated.